The Joy.. the joy of Pain!

There is this joy that I get
in walking alone
i like good company
but often want to be without it for reasons unknown

There is this joy that I get
in keeping it secret
I love sharing stuff with someone close
but being quiet is more fun I bet

There is this joy that I get
in talking to my own
I enjoy it when my friends buzz me
but trust me I don't like this thing called the phone

There is this joy that I get
in being stupid and mad
I am seen as someone calm and mature
but at times I get some real satisfaction by being good at being bad

There is this joy that I get
in crying out loud, weeping quietly in my bed,being sad just like insane
I am an optimist and I am strong
but I wont be able to live my life the way I do without this constant joy of pain...

There is this joy that I get...
the joy..
the joy of pain.